To My Fans:
If you're reading this, it means you care. You believe. You believe in me, this movement, and most importantly yourself.
It's no secret that we've all struggled in the last two years; some greatly more than others. I've discussed my struggles here and there, but never felt the need to dive into them at depth. In truth, I've been struggling more than I care to admit; with who I am, my message, and getting back on my feet.
Looking back, I often feel like I've misrepresented myself on the internet. You see, as a musician you're told you need to post on social media constantly, go live, be this "personality" to get views.. to get people's attention. The problem is, people start to stay for the personality.. they stay because you're funny and entertaining. I thought by being funny on the internet it helped ppl, made them laugh, but in reality it pushed my message further and further away from the music. It painted a distorted picture of who Mike's Dead really is; and what that name stands for.
I often felt like I adapted more of an "influencer" role; caring about posting stories and keeping people engaged... even though thats not me. And when you do that for long enough as routine, it starts to change who you are; what you care about.
So I've been making changes. I left LA to escape that lifestyle. To focus on the music once more. Truthfully the last year has felt like one of the worst years of my life mentally. I've been constantly struggling with thoughts of suicide and self destructive habits. I've cut off friends and relationships on the idea that they were distractions... that I needed to "work harder". I've developed terrible anxiety towards posting anything on social media, or even talking to the camera.
You see no one teaches you how to be a successful musician. No one teaches you how to "internet" when you have hundreds of thousands of people staring up at you with respect. So for me... I was just "myself" with little thought. And that often comes at a vicious cost.
I wanted to post this for two reasons; one, to show that beneath this aggressive, flamboyant personality there is someone who cares for each and every one of you and your support. I find reason to continue as we continue together.
And two, to provide perspective of the future. I love music more than anything on this planet. Seriously I wouldn't be here writing this without it. I want to be fully music oriented. If I'm posting on social media, well, its about my music. If I'm making TikTok's - well? Its because I'm showcasing my strengths or promoting my music. I'm not going live or responding to messages because I have to, but because I WANT to. Living my life for me rather than being bound by the shackles of what other people want.
So, if you're still reading this.. thank you. Thank you for being here and supporting my vision, but also thank you for understanding. I'm sure some of you like the funny videos, the live streams, etc but my purpose on this earth is to share my music and ideas with amazing people like yourself. Each and every one of you is the life blood of this movement. Without you I would not be here.
I am simply the conductor.